If you have come from my old blog welcome to my new site. If you have just found my blog for the first time, welcome to you too. I have decided to make one major change to my posts on this blog: at the end of each post you will usually find a link to another post or blog (or both); the links to the posts will be called “Posts of Note” and the links to blogs will be called “Beaut Blogs”. This is to get over the problem I had of knowing when and how much to link to other blogs and posts. I hope you find that it adds value for you.
This is the first post in a series on self-development, so I’ll be talking about what the series will be about and starting with initial ideas.
My plan is to cover different approaches to self-development – starting with our thoughts and perceptions and moving on to feelings and intuitions and followed by different ‘paths’ (at the moment I am thinking about the artist and the hero/ine). It will be about these ways of approach rather than dealing with all the different authors or specific modalities. For each approach I will talk about the way I think it is valuable and useful and how you may find it useful in living a more satisfactory and enjoyable life.
I’m not sure how long the series will be, so if you would like to see anything included let me know and I’ll see whether I can include it.
Introduction to Self-Development
Definitions and Diversity
What I’m calling here ‘self-development’ is a vast field of diverse approaches whose purpose is to give people ways to live better lives.
This field goes by various names. I have chosen “self-development” because it is relatively well understood and I don’t find it objectionable. I do find ‘self-improvement’ objectionable because it suggests that there is something wrong with us that we or others should fix. This slips all too easily into a guru and follower way of doing things and I value agency (I am interested in people being more in touch with themselves and making their own choices), so ‘self-improvement’ isn’t an option for me. “Self-realisation” often has an eastern flavour and my approach is mostly western based, so it would be mildly misleading for me to use it. I also feel that quite close to my core lies teaching – I find people are very much ‘learning animals’ and ‘self-realisation’ tends not to take account of this. My favourite term is probably ‘human potential’ but this isn’t much used anymore and so doesn’t have much meaning for people. So I’m sticking with the term ‘self-development’ and hope I’ve explained enough to say why and roughly what I mean by it.
Integrity and Usefulness.
Writers on self-development have often made their own breakthroughs and they speak to others from this basis. This has integrity and I think it is valuable. When someone can say that, “I know this works because it worked for me”, this is very valuable. In my experiences the people I have met in the self-development field – personally and through their books – are, almost without exception, people of integrity.
However, this doesn’t mean that what they have to say will be of use to you. People work on their own problems and their breakthroughs are answers to their problems. The elation of the breakthrough is exhilarating and heady indeed. When someone finds that their way works for others too this is delightful. All this is positive – however it can lead to thinking that everyone is the same: having the same problems and needing the same answers. The extraordinarily rich diversity of the self-development field I think is largely due to the fact that people are different – they have different problems and so find solutions to their problems.
Thus people who were demeaned may promote self-esteem; people abused as children may emphasise the need to care for the child inside us; those who were excessively cerebral may champion emotional expression; those who were only allowed to be emotional may be very aware of the value of rationality. This list could be extended indefinitely. My point is that none of these are wrong and that all are potentially useful.
What about me and my approach? I grew up in Evangelical Christianity. This emphasised the verbal and the rational. We were told that discipline was good and encouraged to watch ourselves rather than be spontaneous. Our models were those who fought themselves and there was language about self-conquest. So my own self-development has been a path of learning to value my emotions and physicality, it has emphasised unity and wholeness and to discover that there are other ways of knowing than through words. My approach has been about discovering ease rather than being unkind to ourselves (which is usually what people mean by discipline). (I believe that this is entirely compatible with a Biblical Christianity.)
Beaut Blog: Chris Edgar’s DevInContext (ie. self development in context). A great exploration of self-development and a defense of it against common criticisms. Chris’s background is in law and it shows in his penetration, analysis and clarity. He also writes accessibly and readably. I think it is one of the great blogs in the field of self-development.
Related posts:
Hi Evan
Great post to welcome in your merged efforts. Great big subject too.
I think the overall element in self development approaches I have found helpful, distracting, confusing and challenging all at the same time is conviction. The author, speaker, religious leader, other type of leader, etc., is so convinced that what they have found, what they want to show others, is without a doubt the right thing. In their ferver, their efforts can become blinding, I suspect on both their side and mine. Add to that a generally accepted notion one needs to have conviction in order to pursue some of this work, conviction can be a big stumbling block. (One I’ve tripped over more than once!)
As probably most people seeking out a “course” to follow, I’ve tried many, read about many more, backtacked, re-did, re-tried, re-grouped, quit and returned with supposed new conviction. Even now, as I’ve found a main focus, I pepper it with stuff from various other disciplines and some not so disciplined approaches. Sometimes it seems I make things up as I go along in order for the fit to fit day to day. It has been absolutely necessary for me to cobble together pieces here and there in order not to get stuck, remain stuck, move into a places where one has gone to an extreme.
As you say, no one way is the way. Never mind applying a focus to a personal difficulty that is a poor match, creating more harm than good. But, how is one to know they’ve chosen the wrong thing until they’ve tried it? Take the word of their latest practitioner’s absolute certainty of their method, having to presume he/she knows best? Choices this important can be a really good thing, but also daunting or detrimental.
I feel one of the main points to self development is to show one’s uniqueness (I guess you call it authenticty here!). Probably not feasible if we’re all doing the same. I guess we then should be thankful there are a million plus ways to get where we’re wanting to go in this realm. For me, a focus, with a mix and match option of extras works for now, as long as I don’t get too scattered, or I’m sure to be back at one square one or another…
It did take me years to find what I was looking for, how to identify it was ‘right’. Conviction then has taught me its necessity and to be ever so cautionary of it, less it become a necessary evil.
Barbara
I had never really thought about the labels that are used for this type of thinking. But I agree wholly with your reasoning for choosing self development. I think sometimes I am guilty of thinking that I need self improvement!
I live with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and read a lot about recovering from this illness. I strongly believe there is a link between the body and the mind so I am always interested in ‘self development’ or psychological approaches to recovery. It never ceases to amaze me how different therapies/thinking/treatments work for different people. I know many people who have recovered from CFS-I intend to be one of them-but everyone’s story of how they got there is always completely different. People are truly fascinating!
Evan,
Glad that you have successfully traversed your move and I look forward to all that you will offer here. I agree Chris Edgar’s writing is outstanding. Great choice to drive your readers to.
Hi Barbara, I do think conviction can be a problem. And knowing what fits probably does require experience (trying stuff out, often – in my experience anyway – it goes by the name of mistakes).
My approach is to try and give data from my own and other’s experience so that there is good reason for someone trying something, also to try and give the process so that people can investigage for themselves. This isn’t an answer by any means, just the best I’ve been able to come up with.
Like you I have one main approach and then do a bit of mix and match. Thanks for your comment, welcome to the new blog, good to have you here.
Hi Karen, I do think that every story of recovery is different. I do think there are often common elements (though these can be a bit general and useless) like, the person being an active collaborator rather than a passive recipient of treatment.
Like you I think the body and mind are closely related (or two sides of the same thing). Thanks for your comment and visiting my blog. Hope to hear from you again sometime soon.
Hi Mark, glad you followed me to the new location – it’s great to have you here. I’m glad you like Chris too.
Hi Evan. I just discovered your blog via Chris Edgar’s. I am looking forward to your whole self-development plan. It’s such a huge topic. Can’t wait.
Hi Ivee, welcome. I hope you like the series. Any and all comments are most welcome. If you have anything you’d especially like me to deal with, let me know and I’ll see what I can do. Great to have you here.
Thanks, Evan. Lately, I’ve been wanting to read more about how I can develop more faith in myself. But no pressure. Anything on perseverance and building confidence is good, too.
Hi Ivee, I’ll see what I can do.
In the meantime I have a couple of suggestions. I think perseverance comes from knowing we have some control. So it is about seeing that what you do can make a difference. So people often persevere with hobbies and sports for years – they see that they get better and that they can improve by training or developing the techniques of the hobby. Confidence can be about being good at something (which means finding a domain and learning about it) or feeling some sense of certainty about ourselves. This is often undermined (sometimes with all the best intentions) by parents: being impatient and showing us how to do something instead of letting us find out for ourselves, setting standards that are too high for us; and sometimes with bad intentions – abuse, demeaning us and so on. This leaves the person with a very nasty ‘parent in their head’ who needs to be dealt with (some kind of re-parenting where they decide that children – including ‘the child in their head’ – deserve nurture and care and set about learning what the child in them needs and giving it to them.
These are just generalities I know and may not relate to what you meant at all. If so I hope they can stimulate some thinking for you.
Thanks for your helpful reply, Evan. Confidence being unintentionally undermined by a parent is a familiar theme to me.
I look forward to reading more from you. In the meantime, I will certainly chew on your words.