Changing Our Perceptions
In the last post in this series I wrote about the role of our perceptions (and thinking about them) in our experience. In this post I want to write about changing our perceptions.
But Why?
Our perceptions are obvious to us. I don’t think ‘computer screen’ before I see this rectangle before me – what it is comes to me immediately. I don’t think ‘Bach’s Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring’ before I experience the goosebumps from that piece of music, or ‘tree’ before I see that tree out the window.
Our perceptions seem obvious – the stuff is just there. But the situation isn’t quite that simple. Sometimes our perceptions are uncertain. Is that a piece of paper blowing across the road or an animal running? Sometimes we are mistaken – we are sure we left our car in this parking spot but then we remember we actually left it somewhere else. Our perceptions can change. After getting to know someone a facial expression we interpreted on first meeting as hostile we now interpret as friendly. We haven’t always been adults. We forget that it took us years for words to be obvious or for us to develop our musical taste.
So our perceptions change and this is partly the result of our intentional efforts. Learning an art or craft means expanding what is obvious to us – enriching our perceptions. A skilled musician may perceive much more in a piece of music than an unskilled one. An architect may well perceive more about a building than someone who knows nothing about architecture. But for the musician or architect these things can be obvious – they don’t need to think about them: they are just ‘there’ in the music or building. But they aren’t just ‘there’ for those whose perceptions haven’t been trained.
My point is that our perceptions shape how we experience life. Changing our perceptions change how we experience life. And our prior experiences and training shape what we perceive.
For instance. Imagine a party in a relatively large lounge room, with music playing, people socialising and so on. There are various people at this party and they all will probably experience it slightly differently – their perceptions will be slightly different, even though each of them will feel that their perceptions are obvious. The musician may well notice the music, while the interior decorator may notice the furnishings and be barely aware of the music, a psychotherapist may be attentive to the conversation they are having, the host/ess may perceive whether people are generally looking happy.
Our pereceptions are not only shaped by our prior experience and training, they are also shaped by our needs and desires.
For instance. At our party the musician discovers they are thirsty, they look around for the drinks table and move toward it. The interior decorator spots a previous client they had a bad time with and forgets about the rooms decor in their haste to hide from the previous client. The psychotherapist hears their name in another conversation even though they weren’t consciously listening for it.
This is why we would want to change our perceptions – because our perceptions affect our experience.
But How?
In some ways all the different traditions and tools in self-development are different answers to this question. Which is what this series is about. But there are some practical and simple things we can do immediately.
1. Pay close attention. Experiencing this one particular thing is different to being able to label it. This applies to a plant, a philosophy, a relationship – or anything else. To challenge or enrich our perception means paying close attention.
In any domain with a history there is usually a fairly extensive list of what to pay attention to. In writing there are the kinds of words and how they relate to each other. There is the development of a style and the mastery of different kinds of writing. In relationships there are the diverse needs and ways to communicate. In planning a holiday there are needs, budget, travel modes and so on to consider. To pay close attention means seeing the parts of something and how they fit together and influence each other to make up the whole.
2. Learn from others. Others perceptions will be different to others’ – and this is an opportunity to widen our own perception. We can learn from others directly or indirectly (such as through books). It is quite possible that they will see things differently to us. An engineer constructing a bridge over a river may come across a boat builder, who tells them that it would be easier to convey people across the river by boat. Someone who builds boats out of wood may learn that fibreglass is better in some situations. We can learn from others how they resolve arguments (or how to have arguments). We may discover that it is possible to feel good about ourselves, even knowing that we are imperfect.
3. Imagine things different. For the thing you are perceiving – how could it be different? What if one note of that tune were different? What if it were played fast or slow? What if this room were painted a different colour – how would that affect how it felt? What if I made sure to listen in this relationship? What if I had been bought up by loving parents – or abusive ones?
Our self-development is affected by how we perceive our world to be and how we perceive ourselves to be. As our perceptions widen and deepen we expand our options – for how we treat ourselves and how we act in our world.
A Post of Note. A Journey Through Darkness. A glimpse of what it is like to experience depression. Very well written.
A Beaut Blog. Well, actually a directory. It is called Counselling Directory and is a way to find a counsellor close to you in the UK. You can search by postcode or locality. It contains information on the different issues people have as well as lots of other information. If you or someone you know is looking for a counsellor in the UK it is a great resource.
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Hi Evan — I like the idea of experimenting with the mode of paying attention, as opposed to the mode of “making this happen” or “preventing that from happening” — at least, these seem to me like they’re in opposition anyway.
Hi Chris, I do think they are different modes. For me the making and preventing mode has the feeling of forcing things about it – definitely opposed to paying attention. Thanks for your comment.