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Seeking Your Input


I am asking for your thoughts and feelings about Living Authentically and where I should head with it.


I have finished shooting the videos (four with an introduction) for my signature program.  Now the work starts.  Editing, transcripts, worksheets and so on.  I hope to have it up on Udemy soon.  It basically gives the details on how to have lasting satisfaction by living authentically

  • Knowing what you want
  • Knowing your options
  • Taking up an option
  • Letting go (experiencing satisfaction, learning, assessing).

It adds up to an hour or so of video.


Which means I am thinking about what to do next.  Which is what I would like your advice on.



1. I have a sense of my message and where it fits in the self development blogosphere.

A). That authenticity is the path to lasting satisfaction.  And authenticity means not only knowing ourselves but also being in touch with what is happening around.  Denying parts of the world is no more authentic than denying parts of ourselves.

B). That who we are is a whole and the parts are each equally important.  And none of these parts is more  important than another.  The ‘parts’ – the dimensions to our lives – are: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and social

  • Our physicality does not determine our experience.  Viktor Frankl found in a death camp that it was not the young and fit that survived but those with something to live for.
  • Our thoughts do not determine our experience.  Sometimes they catch up with our experience (we realise why we are joyous or sad or fearful).
  • Our feelings do not determine our experience.  A new thought can change how we feel, as can a new relationship.
  • Our spirituality does not determine our experience.  Many a person with a sense of individual purpose and connection to the universe is unhealthy.  (I have been around alternative health most of my  life.  Food issues seem to be a special point of vulnerability for those with a strong interest in spirituality.)
  • Our social live do not determine our experience.  People in great relationships get sick and depressed too.

This idea that all the ‘parts’ are important and no part is more foundational than the others is roughly what is meant by ‘wholism‘.


2. I have a sense of my style and approach

A). Direct and simple, and hopefully gentle and gracious.  (OK hopefully most of the time – and when I’m not angrily frustrated with hype and gurus misleading people.)

B). The emphasis on instruction and teaching and examining rather than ‘motivation’ or ‘inspiration’.

You may see things entirely differently to me.  If so you are very welcome to tell me in the comments.



1. One possibility is a ‘suite of products‘.  Five products that lead people to lasting satisfaction in their physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and social lives.

  • The physical would be about diet and exercise.
  • The emotional would be about knowing what we’re feeling and finding ways of expression for them that feel good.
  • The mental would be about analysis, planning, learning and so on.
  • The spiritual would be about finding your sense of individual purpose and finding a mode of expression for this sense of purpose.
  • The social would be about having relationships that benefit all of those in them (not just you, not just the other person(s)), how to have difficult emotions contribute strengthen a relationship instead of avoiding them leading to the relationship being more superficial.

All of them would be about authenticity leading to satisfaction – finding your own approach that works for you.


2. Another possibility is dealing with different topics in self development.  Topics like:

  • Processing guilt
  • Developing good boundaries in relationships
  • Goal Setting – your goals should serve you, not vice versa
  • Motivation – you are already motivated; so consider if you want to do what others tell you to.

 If one of these sparks off a ‘that is exactly what I want’ reaction from you (whether about this topic or another one) please let me know in the comments.



This post is telling you how I see things.  This doesn’t mean that I am right or how I see things is in touch with reality.

So, I would like you to tell me how you see things.

  • If you think I am wrong about how I see myself and the self development blogosphere you are most welcome to tell me.
  • If you would take the time to tell me what you would like from me I would be very grateful.
  • If you would take the time to give me your input on what I should do next this would be delightful too.

Hoping to hear from you in the comments, Evan.

I'm Evan Hadkins. To find out how to live a more satisfying life you can download my manifesto on living authentically. It is a book of exercises to guide you to finding, nourishing and living from the core of who you are.

If you would like me to write about some aspect of living an authentic life please don't hesitate to get in touch. There is a box in the sidebar where you can leave a question anonymously if you wish, or you can email me, use the contact page, or comment on this post.

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{ 6 comments… add one }
  • Chris Edgar 2013/01/27, 2:23 am

    I think my favorite aspects of your writing emerge when you talk about yourself and your own experiences, even if you don’t structure the discussion with the intent to teach a particular lesson. But who knows, I may be a minority.
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  • Evan 2013/01/27, 6:40 am

    Hi Chris, I suspect you may be in the majority.

    I am someone who is naturally interested in topics, issues and subjects. I naturally write about these rather than my experience.

    My biggest struggle I think is how this relates to providing value for others. I tend to provide explanations and how-to’s.

    I know that it is possible to do this along with personal experience – you do it well I think.

    Many thanks for your comment I very much appreciate it.

  • Barbara 2013/02/03, 4:30 am

    Hi Evan,

    I had to think about your questions, this one and the ‘corrected’ one for awhile.

    What I realized and feel is, your comfort level is that of a teacher. So I thought about the teachers I’ve had in the past and which ones I learned the most from, or alternately, learned the best from (meaning in the best manner, things I remembered, you know, indelible stuff).

    As you might imagine the teachers using personal experience ‘spoke’ to me. However, there were other teachers, like grade school (private religious school) and HS (too big, too crowded public school) teachers that never gave students that kind of info. What they did do, was give the stories of others. They utilized the stories of others to bring concepts to life. Even if those stories were gleaned from fiction or history. In other words if I knew something about some chemist I was likely to recall his chemical formula.
    Not just stuff about when he discovered XYZ, but something about him, like he was the only known living chemist in all of Europe in his day.

    I think it is story that cements ideas for me and without it I have to utilize rote memory and although I can retain a lot of facts, there are times I’d rather not, or sometimes can’t.

    I think that is why I’ve often struggled with sayings, affirmations, cryptic Zen-like ‘thoughts’. Minus context, unfamiliar has a moat between me and learning. It is generally in hindsight I have understood those concepts that eluded me, after I’ve had some exposure to experience, mine or another’s that I’ve finally ‘gotten it’.

    Just my thoughts…

  • Evan 2013/02/03, 8:29 am

    Hi Barbara, I think you’re right that teaching is my natural mode. I also think that your right about stories bringing concepts to life.

    And I know this in my head and it has never made the shift to my writing. As I sit with it I think it may be because I leap to the end – my interest is in the ‘moral of the story’ not the telling of it. Which means that I forget the process that got me there, I focus on the content and not the form – even though the form is what delivers the content and so is essential.

    I’m not sure what would make the shift for me.

    Many thanks for your thoughts.

  • Barbara 2013/02/03, 4:52 pm

    Hi Evan,

    As I read your response my impression is that the need for you to make a shift in your writing may not be at all what is needed. I think maybe if you looked at it another way, ‘finding’ or ‘catering’ to those who learn best in the manner you teach might be the way through. I’m certain there are many people who just want the moral of the story, want to work the rest out themselves, or naturally understand in the way you already present things. In certain subjects or instances, I want that. It depends on which side of my brain is in gear!

    It seems to me finding the right ‘student’ lies in aligning yourself with others who write in the style/manner you do, joining a networking, of sorts.

  • Evan 2013/02/03, 5:02 pm

    Thanks Barbara,

    Perhaps you’re right. I’m not sure where/who those people are. I have a video course I’m preparing and will be asking other bloggers guest posts and so on in a few weeks. Perhaps I will find them that way.

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